What is it?
But how could I explain.
How does one tell others
what it's like to go insane?
I sit in my thoughts, and drown in my head
the gray world I dwell says I'm already dead
It starts at your finger,
but maybe your tongue.
a big black splotch- where had my skin gone?
I waved it in front of my father-
told him to help me, I said
"Won't you get it off, why won't it come off
I've washed it and popped pills and done all I can
but this blotch just won't come off."
so he took me to the hospital,
but not because of the spots
he took me because I'm crazy,
because he said
"there's nothing there at all."
So I look in the mirror and see them
crawling up my skin.
I can just feel them in the back of my head
telling me to sin.
And they spread so fast and only I see
what they're doing to me.
To everyone else I'm just like them
just a human being.
The more I try to get them off the more they just come back.
They all weigh a hundred pounds,
I can't carry them all around.
Heavier and heavier, but no one else can see!
this ink, that is taking over me.
I'm losing control of myself of my mind
It's taken captive my brain.
It tells me what to think and who I am-
It tells me that I'm in pain.
But no one can see the open sores
Of all these stupid open doors
in my mind that won't be closed
that drown me every
No doctor understands my body
is not sick, it's tired of hauling
the weight of my invisible blanket
of darkness every
So what is it- you ask,
But how could I explain!
How could you understand this hidden broken pain?
the doctors don't
my friends just won't
no one will ever know.
So here I am, making amends
for maybe what I did.
holding my sin, carrying it through
the hot streets everywhere.
We've learned to live together,
this outbreak and me.
Sometimes it's here-
sometimes it's not.
But no one will ever see.